The Drill: The Power of Small Moments of Connection

Settling the affairs of a parent is something I never really thought about until it was staring me in the face. It has required a lot of time and energy spent away from home. One of the small fortunes of life in a divorced family is… there is a place for kid(s) to go when needed. And even though we have reached an age when the main parenting skills I’m using lately are transportation and housekeeping, the occasional financial aid…. I still want to be around for all of it.

When I’m gone, we sometimes use Uber to get kid from one place to another. It feels good to know that he can continue with the people and activities he enjoys when I’m not there. (Knowing who is driving and when they arrive doesn’t hurt either.)

We have developed a plan for times he is nervous when I’m not around…when he rides in an Uber, he doesn’t want to talk to me on the phone. But he wants me there. So….we have created “the drill”. When the Uber arrives, he calls me. He doesn’t speak, he just keeps me on the line. And over time, I have learned that he keeps an EarPod in so that he can hear me. I have also learned this is a perfect time to do silly things….sing? You betcha. Make jokes he can’t respond to? Absolutely. And sometimes we sit in silence. But I try to take space in each of those calls to feel so deeply grateful that he wants me there, even in the tiniest way. Because there will be a day when he won’t. And though that will be a celebration of its own, I hope that it is no time soon.

Do you have “drills” in your own relationships? Tiny little moments where you are needed in the tiniest ways that you might keep secret from the rest of the world? I hope you do. You are invited to reply to this message and let me know what they are… but most importantly, I hope you take a second every now and then to really soak in the moment and appreciate how fortunate you both are to share them with each other.

To tiny moments,
Team Gnome